have you ever tried to grab a ghost by the throat I feel like that's what I've been doing my whole life wanting to behold the bridge man's jewels the people at the church or the musketman emerald can melting down the world so he can wear it as a pinky ring too tight hairy digit strangled by gold remembering reminders to the very end I think about the shapes of things that make other things always moving only so much gold on the planet and it's not even from here gold it came hurtling out across the stellar distance uncountable eons ago supernova ejaculate and what has it seen this space currency stars birthed shadowy knife dust of asteroids and just so much endless empty empty to us anyway they say that trees are the original astronomers because their rings record the history of climate and sun I like to think of the other originals meek little protozoa sensing outward four-dimensional awareness first to discover that motility is useful slinking itself across the strange dense soup of our earliest oceans or gracefully complex flashing jellyfish the first selenographers (new word!) forever connected to the swoon and fervor of the tides and the distant satellite that whispers to them so much came before us and what will come after I wonder time I've never understood it presented as a line time is a substance it shapes us ceaselessly the stuff of it may be invisible to us, yes but like UV from the sun too long in it and you are marked and yes we mark it back calendars clocks meetings but it shapes us fundamentally loss joy decay not separate at all we are expressions of time all things are have you ever met an immortal I want so badly to reach out to the far far future stretch across those uncountable eons to the timeplace where the stuff that is my body now is blown back across the universe then atomic dandelion off to pollinate new and distant planets so that some future organism can absorb me into its structure and I can once again gaze back up into a sky that is a moment that is eternal because it's mine I'm there to see it and I have been and I will have been
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beautiful. just what I didn't know I needed to read today. (thank you.)